The Headman Doesn't Want Soy-Sauce
A Naruto short-fic
By Niki 'NeeP' Paradis

Author's notes: This story was written to explain Shouya's name.  Some people who understood the naming scheme in Naruto may have noticed that Shouya's name didn't really fit her situation as Naruto's sister.  Thus this story was written to explain why, and to introduce Shouya's future teacher.

    It was quiet in Konohagure Academy's staff room.  Iruka-sensei was eating his lunch, glad that the genin examinations were over.
    "Iruka?  Have you got a moment?"
    Iruka looked up from his lunch at the large woman who stood before him.
    "Sure," replied the teacher.  "Just give me a minute to clean up."

    Akimichi Isu was a very large woman.  She towered over Iruka, but that didn't bother him.  She also towered over most of the men in the Village.  She was also one of his old classmates.  But she had the courtesy to sit down next to Iruka as she figured out what to say.
    "You know that I have been appointed by the Fifth to oversee the team that Uzumaki Shouya is on," she began.  "Along with Rekishita Jiten and Chiisaioka Tsukue.  Right?"
    "Yes, I know," replied Iruka.  He chuckled.  "I don't envy you the assignment.  Shouya can be quite a handful at times."
    "So I have heard," grinned Isu.  "I have also heard of her new technique."
    The teacher went red in the face.  "Oh?" he almost squeaked in reply.
    "I'm afraid so, Iruka.  You know there are still children of the Akimichi clan going to the Academy and you know how kids talk to each other, right?  And so, that means that eventually, someone's gonna want to talk to Auntie Isu."  She laughed merrily.      "Just great..." muttered the embarrassed teacher.
    "It's all right, Iruka...  Everyone knows that kids and pranks do happen.  And everyone knows that an Uzumaki can easily disrupt things."
    "They're not as bad as all that," protested Iruka.
    "I know.  I have spoken to Kakashi about Naruto and he said that same thing.  Don't you worry about Shouya, Iruka.  I will watch over her."
    "You won't believe how glad I am to hear that."  Iruka was still blushing, but his smile was honest.
    "But seriously, I didn't come to make fun of you."
    "Really?  That's nice to know."
    "I wanted to make sure that you to know about my assignment.  But I am a bit curious about something."
    "Oh?  What would that be?"
    "I have heard that you were the one who gave Shouya her name."
    "Yeah."
    "Yeah...  Um..."  Isu seemed to be at a loss for words.
    Iruka raised an eyebrow, as if to prompt the jyounin to continue.
    "Yeah...  Um, usually 'Shouya' is considered a boy's name, right?"
    "Yeah, I know."
    Isu scratched her nose thoughtfully.  "So, how did you come by it?"
    "All right," said Iruka cheerfully.  "I can explain that.  Let's go have some tea."

    It was about the middle of the morning of the second day, when the girl was released from the hospital.  Iruka and Naruto went to pick her up.
    "I don't see why she hasta wear my old clothes!" protested Naruto as the three of them walked down the busy street.  People all around were giving the trio a wide space.
    "I sure the hell can't go around naked like this, can I?" protested the unnamed blonde girl.
    Iruka sighed.  The young girl had not even been 'alive' for more than a day and already it was very obvious that she and Naruto were going to have problems getting along.
    "It's fine, Naruto," soothed Iruka.  "She'll be getting clothes of her own soon enough."
    The boy grunted.
    "I don't see why I hafta be a girl," muttered the girl.  "I'm not supposed to be a girl."
    "You shouldn't be here at all!" growled Naruto. 
    "Why, you..."  The girl made as if to leap at the boy.
    "That's enough, you two."  Iruka sighed as he grabbed the both of them by their jacket collars.  "How about I treat you both to some ramen and we can all talk things over?"
    Both children brightened at the sound of the magic word.
    "Ramen?" asked the girl.
    "Sounds good to me," agreed Naruto.
    Iruka sighed inwardly.  At least I got them to agree on something, he thought.  Now if only I can keep them from arguing for a while.
    The owner of the Ichiraku Ramen House was happy to see his best customer coming in again.  He was happy to see Iruka as well --with the two of them, business was always profitable.  He was surprised to see the blonde girl who resembled Naruto, but if she wanted ramen too, then she was more than welcomed.  The owner found it odd that the girl didn't want to give her name, but Iruka started to order and the owner decided that it really didn't matter.
    Iruka seated himself between the two, hoping to keep them from each other's throats.  He made a small sigh of relief once the bowls were placed in front of them all and the two children stopped shouting at each other and began to eat.
    While the kids had their mouths full, Iruka tried to talk to them.
    "Okay, Naruto...  I know that you and..."  He looked to the girl.  I'm going to have to give her a name.
    "I'm Naruto too," said the girl with her mouth full.
    "No, you're not!" protested the blonde boy.
    "Be quiet, you two," sighed the teacher.  "I have to think."  He ordered two more bowls of ramen.  As the two steaming bowls were placed in front of the children, Iruka took the moment to watch both the girl and Naruto.  Naruto was reaching across his teacher for the small plate that held the extra order of fish-cake.  The girl was reaching the other way, trying to get to the soy-sauce.  Iruka grinned hugely as inspiration struck.  There aren't too many moments where the perfect name would suggest itself.
    Shouyu.  I'll call her Shouyu.  He didn't notice that the two children were trying to kick at each other from either side of him.
    "I'm going to call you Shou --YAAAAH!"  The girl's foot accidentally knocked the teacher from his seat.  She was trying to reach Naruto and missed.  Iruka was sent sprawling and he landed heavily.  From his prone position from the floor, he looked up at the girl that he was trying to name.  "That wasn't called for."
    "Sorry, sensei," replied the girl with a grin.  "You're gonna call me 'Shouya'?  That's a great name!  Perfect for the future Hokage!"
    "You're not gonna be Hokage!" shouted Naruto.  "I am!"
    "Actually," said Iruka as he rubbed his head where he bumped it, "I was thinking of 'Shouyu' as a name."
    "'Shouyu'?  That's a dumb name."  The girl snorted.  "I like Shouya better.  I want to be called that."
    "But Shouya is a boy's name!  You can't be called that!" protested Naruto.  He felt that it would be unfair for her to be called that when he was the one who was going to become Hokage.
    "Well, so what?" argued the girl.  "I like the name, 'Shouya' and that's what I'm gonna be called."
    "Fine, fine..." sighed Iruka.  And he got up from the floor.  The owner of the ramen shop got out from hiding and handed Iruka the bill.  After wincing, the chuunin paid the bill.  Paying just for Naruto and himself was bad enough.  Add the extra hungry mouth and Iruka could see that he couldn't afford too many more 'treats'.  "Let's go, you two," he said.  "The Hokage wants to see you two."
    And Naruto and the newly named Shouya jumped off of their seats and followed him out.

    "And that's what happened."  Iruka took another sip of his tea.
    Both he and Isu were seated in a small teashop some way from the Academy.
    Isu looked thoughtful.  She sipped at her own extra large tea before replying.  "So, it really was an accident?" she asked.
    "Yeah.  'Shouyu' would have suited her perfectly, especially with her brother named 'Naruto', but..."  He put the teacup down and sighed.  "Well, you now know what happened."
    "Yeah, I can understand that now."  The large woman chuckled.  "But you know something, Iruka?"  She put her hand lightly on his arm.  "Shouya has made the name her own, and so it suits her just fine." 
    "I suppose so," replied Iruka.
    Isu grinned at her friend.  "And maybe, just maybe, even though she's a girl, Shouya will someday be able to live up to her name."

More notes:
shouyu = soy-sauce (can be found in ramen)
shouya = village headman
isu = chair

Actually, the truth is that this foolish author spent a night until 3am researching the perfect name for this fanfic character who was Naruto's clone and sister.  I started out by finding the definition for 'naruto' (fish-cake) and then looked for other things that could go into ramen.  I found the Japanese word for 'soy-sauce' and thought it was perfect and went to bed feeling happy.  But it was not until after I have written and posted The Seventh Day did I realise that I have mistaken the last letter of the word, shouyu, for an 'a'.  But it was too late then, and I decided to keep the name and come up with a reason why she was misnamed.  So remeber, boys and girls, make certain you're awake when naming new characters.

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