Shouya's New Technique
A Naruto Shortfic.
By Niki 'NeeP' Paradis

    "Hey, Iruka!" shouted a fellow instructor.  "How was your day?"
    "Please don't ask," moaned Iruka, leaning back and placing a damp cloth across his forehead.
    "Uzumaki pulled something on you today, didn't she?" asked the other teacher.  
    Iruka said nothing, and his companion took that to mean agreement.
    "C'mon, you can tell me..." he wheedled.  "What happened?"
    Iruka groaned.

    Earlier that afternoon...
    Iruka was dragging a tied-up Uzumaki Shouya back towards the classroom.  He was shouting at her and she was shouting back.
    "But I was so hungry, Iruka-sensei," explained the blonde hair girl.  "Naruto didn't pick up any groceries like he said he would...  And now he's gone off for a few days on a mission.  And there was that cupcake just sitting there...  I didn't think anyone would mind..."
    The incident that Shouya was trying to explain her way out of had occurred in the Teacher's Lounge.  The cupcake in question belonged to Taikutsu-san, the Academy's historian.  When he caught the girl trying to swipe the cupcake that his granddaughter had made him, he shouted at her.  And in retaliation, Shouya pulled her brother's infamous trick: the Sexy no Jutsu.  And the old man almost had a heart attack.  Blood spurted out of his nose as he shrieked and he fell to his knees.  He recovered quickly, but not fast enough to save his cupcake.  
    So Shouya did manage to get what she came for.  However, she was not fast enough to make good her escape.  The old man's scream brought Iruka running and he caught Shouya just leaving the Lounge, with crumbs all over her face.  He grabbed her by the collar of her jacket and dragged her back into the Lounge to get the story out of the old man --who was then being tended to by the other teachers and assistants.  In a wavering voice, Taikutsu explained what had happened.
      Shouya had at least the decency to blush.  Iruka announced that the young girl was going to make things up by baking him a cake after class.  With all of the adults around her, Shouya could only agree.
    After that, Iruka tied up his troublesome student to prepare her for transport back to the classroom.  A female instructor came in and asked if Iruka was taking things a bit far by tying up a female student.
    "Not really," he replied.  "You see, this is Uzumaki Shouya, sister to Uzumaki Naruto."
    "Ah," replied the other teacher.  And she asked no further questions.  Everyone in the Academy knew about the reputation of the Uzumakis.
    So as Iruka grimly dragged his complaining student back to the classroom, he thought about how peaceful he thought that the classroom was going to be now that Naruto was no longer in it.  And it was for a while, but he would never admit (even to himself) that he found it rather boring.  Then Shouya was enrolled and despite all of her shared memories of Naruto screwing up, she seemed to be determined to take his place as class clown.  
    "But why that technique, Shouya?" he asked her.  "I've told you --The Sexy no Jutsu and the Harem no Jutsu are not appropriate techniques for a young woman to perform."
    "Yes, Sensei," muttered Shouya.  "I won't do it again..."
    "I mean it."
    The student sighed.  "Yes, Sensei."
    "You will be cleaning up the Teacher's Lounge after class today.  There are broken dishes, blood on the walls and you will be baking Taikutsu-san a cake as punishment for stealing his cupcake.  His granddaughter made that for him, you know.  He was telling all of the teachers that this morning."  What he didn't say was that the old man almost bored everyone to tears by boasting of his granddaughter over and over again.
    The girl grunted as her backside dragged on the floor.  "Hmmph.  I saved that old man from a fate worse than death, you know...  That cupcake was awful."
    "Even so," said the teacher as they finally reached the door to the classroom.  He opened the door and pushed Shouya in.  The students, who were all talking to each other, throwing paper and shuriken around, suddenly became quiet as their teacher came in.  He looked at them disapprovingly.  
    "Listen up, class," Iruka addressed his students.  "Because of Shouya's little adventure and of what I just saw as I came back in, everyone will be doing Transformation exercises for the rest of the day."
    The class groaned.  
    Iruka continued as he untied the girl.  "Everyone will be expected to transform into the likeness of me."  He put the rope away.  "Now everyone line up."
    "Thanks a lot, Shouya," muttered Jiten, the class know-it-all, who was standing in front of her.  "I was hoping we would get the extra time for studying," he said as he pushed his glasses back up onto his nose.
    The blonde girl grinned at him.  "Just think of this as a review," she said.
    The boy sighed.
    Konohamaru stood behind her.  "I don't like transformations, Shouya-neechan," he said.  "I stink at them."
    "Actually, you get them down pretty good," replied the girl.  "The only problem is that you make your copies fat and ugly."
    "Gee, thanks."
    "That's enough talking, Shouya," said Iruka.  "You're in enough trouble as it is."
    Jiten was called and he went to the front of the class.  "Transform!" he shouted, and became an identical twin to his teacher.
    "Good job, Jiten," said the chunin as he marked down his comments down onto his clipboard.  The boy returned to his own form, grinned and went back to his seat and picked up his book to resume studying.
    "Your turn, Shouya," announced the teacher.  "And remember what I told you back in the hallway."
    "Right, Sensei."  The blonde girl straightened out her goggles as she walked to the front of the room.  She took a deep breath then...  "Transform!"
    The class gasped.
    Time stood still for Iruka.  He had to admit afterwards that yes, she did as she was told and she didn't pull any of her brother's stupid stunts.  Instead she came up with one completely her own.
    The duplicate that Shouya had become looked exactly like Iruka.  She managed to get his proportions down pat.  And his facial features were perfect, even down to the scar.  But Iruka had never, ever worn a pink baby-doll nightie, complete with matching panties, feather boa and ribbons in his hair.  The double even wore pink nail-polish, pink lipstick and eye-shadow.
    The pink apparition stood in front of him for a full minute in a seductive pose, allowing him and the class to notice every detail.  Then it disappeared in a puff of smoke, and Uzumaki Shouya stood grinning at him.
    "That is one of my own techniques," she said.  "I call it the Drag no Jutsu!"
    Iruka was still standing, but his mind had completely shut down --mercifully.

    Back in the Teacher's Lounge...

    "I really can't talk about it," moaned Iruka to his fellow teacher.  "It was just awful."
    The other instructor sighed.  "All right," he said.  "But what about Uzumaki's punishment?  I see that she had managed to clean up in here, but what about the rest of it?  Are you actually going to make her bake a cake for Taikutsu?"
    As if on cue, black smoke could be seen coming out of the staff-kitchen.  Shouya poked her head into the Lounge, her long hair tucked into a hair-net and her face and clothes completely covered with flour and cocoa.  "Iruka-sensei?" she asked.  "Um, could you help me out here please?  I seem to be having trouble..."
    Iruka sighed and put the damp cloth down.  "I will have to get back to you on that," he said as he stood up.  He then took a deep breath, squared his shoulders, smiled at his fellow teacher and walked to where his student was waiting.  "It will depend on how much of the kitchen is left standing."

The Drag no Jutsu

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