NeeP Productions Presents:

Recipe of Disaster
Niki (NeeP) Paradis

Chapter Seven:  An Enormous Amount of Depression.

Ranma was glad to have escaped the house.  Ever since Iikiba and Yoiko showed up, his and Akane’s fathers were acting like the wedding reception was already underway.  He definitely didn’t like that idea that his future was already set out with his not being able to have a say about any of it.  However, although he wouldn’t dare admit it to himself, the idea of marrying Akane wasn’t something that he was totally opposed to.  He just didn’t want Soun or his father to know about it.
    He thought about the concept of Ukyou and Ryouga coming together.  It wasn’t a bad idea, now that he thought about it.  They were already friends, and it was obvious that they were able to get along together, especially if Jiro was there to help things along.  He grinned to himself.  Now if there was some way to encourage them without being as obvious as Tendou-san and his own old man.

    It was a dead calm that could be found in Ucchan’s Okonomiyaki.  Ukyou was looking at Ryouga, Ryouga was looking at Ukyou, and Iikiba was holding his head in his hands.  Jiro was calm, and Yoiko was excited.  Yoiko was the one who broke the silence.
    “Hi Touchan, c’mon in.  If you and Auntie Ji are hungry, Oniichan can cook you something.”
    Iikiba was shaking his head and trying to shush his little sister.  Yoiko was not paying attention to him, as she was trying to pull Ryouga into the restaurant.  Ryouga was trying to resist the pull of the younger girl, but the Hibiki strength prevailed on the side of the teenage girl and Ryouga found himself dragged to the counter.  Ukyou was pushed into a seat beside him.  The two teens looked at each other then at the over-eager young girl.  Jiro sighed and took a seat on the other side of her brother.
    As Yoiko ran off to get plates, Ryouga leaned over the counter towards an extremely embarrassed Iikiba.
    “What’s going on here?” he asked in an angry hiss.  Iikiba shrugged, he looked upset.
    “Yoiko is feeling a little insecure at the moment.  I told her to leave things be, but she wants to secure her -- our future with you two.”
    “Here are the plates, Oniichan.  Get cookin’!”
    Iikiba finally lost his temper and turned on his younger sister.
    “Yoiko, sit down and shut up!” he growled at her.  “With you forcing them together like that, you’re just making things worse!”
    Yoiko froze, then dropped onto a seat.  Her eyes filled with tears as a pale green aura formed around her.  Iikiba started and re-addressed her in a calmer voice.
    “Relax, Yoiko-chan,” he said.  If things are meant to happen this way in this timeline, they will.  Okay?  You don’t have to force them.”
    Yoiko sniffled, but the aura diminished a bit.
    “Not like it’s going to happen,” muttered Ryouga.  “I’m planning to marry Akane.”
    “Ranchan’s the one for me,” agreed Ukyou.
    “Guys, could you perhaps stop talking like that?  Please?”  Iikiba interrupted them as he jerked his thumb back towards his sister, whose pale green aura was starting to build up again.  Both Ukyou and Ryouga missed the point as they continued their discussion.
    “What’s so great about Ranma?” asked Ryouga hotly.
    “Well, to start with, he doesn’t get lost trying to cross the street, sugar,” replied Ukyou.
    “Hmmph.  He’s not so great.  But I’m not surprised that a cross-dressing tomboy like you would be interested in a loser like that.”
    “Oniisan, Ukyou-san, I think you better stop,” Jiro said softly, starting to get a bit frightened by Yoiko’s glow.  Iikiba was starting to emit a bit of a deep green aura, but he seemed to have it under control.  But now, Ryouga and Ukyou were involved in insulting each other and pretty much unaware of what was happening around them.
    “You don’t have a clue about what you’re talking about.  You’re just too pig-headed too admit it!”
    “I have never known you for a fool, Ukyou.  Guess I was wrong.”
    “STOP IT!” yelled Iikiba.
    The two stopped arguing.  They then noticed Yoiko’s brilliant aura, and her sniffling.  When she started to tremble, Iikiba started to panic.
    “Oh shit…” He grabbed his sister by her shoulders and started to drag her towards the front door.  “GET OUT OF MY WAY!” he shouted at the customers who were still in the restaurant, despite the noise level.  They quickly obliged.
    They went out of the front door and into the street.  Iikiba forced his sister’s hands together, palms out, and pointed them towards the sky.  He adopted the same pose and stood behind her, his forearms almost right against hers.  Then he yelled.

    “What a haul!  What a haul!”
    Happosai was running across the rooftops with a bag of pilfered women’s undergarments.  He was extremely impressed with himself over his new haul.  Inside his bag was an incredible assortment of underwear, ranging from brassieres to panties to teddies and everything in between.  They came from women of assorted ages.  From the young girls just coming into their womanhood to the mature beauties in their full ripeness of femininity that knows what the game is all about.  He was looking for more undergarments to loot when he saw a young woman, in her early twenties, who was sunbathing – in the nude.  His eyes bugged out and he thanked the gods for the favour that was shown to him and his eyes alone.
    “Hot-chaa!  Come to Happy, Baby!”  He cried out loud as he changed directions to intercept the bathing beauty, all the while imagining what he could do with a young thing like that.
    Unfortunately for him, because of his daydreaming, he failed to notice that his detour took him over the roof of Ukyou’s restaurant.  He also failed to notice the pillar of heavy ki until he crashed into it.  The green energy ripped open his bag and scorched its contents.
    “NOOOOOOO!” wailed the old pervert, as he realised what has just happened.  “MY PREEEEEEEETTIEEEEEEEEEES!”

    Ranma was running on the rooftops when he witnessed a downpour of scorched women’s undergarments.  He looked up and saw a stunned Happosai falling from the sky.  Ranma wondered what could stun the old pervert in such a way, when he saw the pillar of green ki.
    Wow, thought Ranma, I gotta hand it to Ryouga.  That is the most impressive Shi shi Houkoudan that he’s done yet.  The fact that it got the old freak was a bonus, and Ranma figured that there really was some justice in the world after all.  But when he reached the area that the beam originated, he was surprised to find that the source was Iikiba and Yoiko Hibiki.

    The rookie was just starting his shift when the pillar of green light appeared.  He quickly excused himself from the old lady he was giving directions to and he dashed towards the source.  On his way there, something fell heavily onto the ground about ten meters in front of him.  It turned out to be a diminutive old man, somewhat dazed and scorched.  He was holding a pair of equally scorched pair of panties.  In disgust, the rookie thought about whether he should assist the old man or throw him into the trash.
    The old man started to moan and mumble.  The officer got closer to make out the words.
    “My … brassieres … my  … panties … my … teddies … my … stockings … my…”
    Without further ado, the rookie picked up the old pervert like he was a two-week-old dead fish and dropped him into the nearest garbage bin.  We have to keep our city clean, he thought as he slammed the lid on the bin.  Then he set out towards the location that the green light was.

    Jakku looked towards the huge pillar of green light.  Hey, he thought.  That’s one of those Shi-shi-whaddya-call-‘em’s that that Hibiki guy can throw.  Jakku grinned, he knew that Jiro would be intercepting that same green ki-pillar if she saw it – if she wasn’t there already.  He turned towards the light and made a beeline towards his (hopefully) final confrontation with Jiro.

    Elsewhere, in a park nearby, a young teen-age girl was sitting on a bench, feeding the birds that landed at her feet.  Beside her, a pig, the size of a mini-van, was waiting patiently beside his mistress.  Akari Unryuu was enjoying the day, wondering where her boyfriend might be.  It wasn’t as if she was worried, she knew that her boyfriend was often lost for long periods of time.
    The giant pig snorted suddenly.
    “What is it, Katsunishiki?”  The lovely brown-hair girl looked in the direction that her pig was facing and saw the pillar of green light.  Her face lit up
    “Oh!  Ryouga-sama!  We’ve found him!  Thank-you, Katsunishiki.  You’re such a wonderful and clever pig.”  She jumped onto the pig’s back and together they raced towards the light.

    The brilliant green beam that shot out from their hands was a twisted pillar of pale green and dark green ki. Yoiko’s extreme depression provided the destructive power while Iikiba’s determination provided the distance.  Both teens were miserable over the fighting but it was Ryouga’s son who knew best on how to release their pent up frustration.
    Finally the beam of heavy ki ended and both teens slumped onto the ground.  Iikiba fell to his knees while supporting Yoiko who was unconscious.  They stayed that way for a couple of minutes, as the energy fell back to the Earth and crumbled the ground around them.
    Finally, Iikiba raised his head and glared at Ukyou and Ryouga who was standing in the doorway with Jiro.  He picked up his sister and walked towards them.  The venom that dripped from his voice was evident when he addressed his future parents.
    “What are you two?  Stupid or something?  Both of you should know, especially you, Ryouga-san, that it is dangerous to depress a Hibiki.”  Iikiba shook his head, then turned to Ranma who was watching the spectacle.  “And you, Ranma-san, should just not stand and stare, especially when it’s none of your business.”
    With a snort, Iikiba shouldered his way through the crowd at the doorway and into the restaurant.

    The young officer was still running towards the site of the pillar of green light, when a young man with red hair, carrying a stuffed duffle-bag was beside him, easily matching him, stride for stride.
    “Excuse me,” the boy asked.  He wasn’t even panting, or breathing hard.  “Have you seen a brown-hair guy, wearing a red bandanna, carrying a backpack and umbrella?  Or a girl with dark hair, wearing a yellow bandanna, carrying a giant spatula?”
    “Yes … I did.  I sent them … both to … Ucchan’s Okonomiyaki shop.”  The rookie was having trouble matching the pace that the red head boy was keeping.
    “Great!  At least I’m headin’ in the right direction.  Thanks a lot!”  With that, the boy sped up his pace, pulling ahead and quickly out of sight.
    When the officer looked back towards the light, it was gone.

Chapter Eight

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